~On the way from Warnamnbool 2 Grampians~

~The Little Walks From K.L. 2 Melbourne~

~Things happened in Hospital~

Oh yes, I accidentally cut myself while watching Big Brother on Friday night to prepare food. It was like - ooohh shit - it just has to happen to me. I thought it was no bigga deal and I started to use tissues to press the wound to stop bleeding. 10 minutes after still bleeding - 20 minutes after still bleeding. Bleed until I drive to St. Vincent's Hospital in the city and it's still bleeding - bleed until I have seen a triage nurse - still bleeding and then the clerk- back and forth to see the traige nurse still bleeding - bleed until 2.15am to see a doctor.

Saw the female doctor instead of male - bugger - was crossing my fingers so hard just to see a cute doctor but too bad it's a female - can't be flirty while bleeding. Anyway, the doctor applied some sterilized something or liquid something to make me press on the wound for 10 minutes. There I was alone in the treatment getting boring - the doctor didn't came back nearly 15 minutes pass. Then, my finger just doesn't listen and it's still bleeding - bleed until the doctor said I have to get some stiches and she left me in the treatment room to find strings or needles and didn't come back fo 20 minutes.

I was bored - playing around with my blood which was already frozen and yet I didn't notic that the blood has stopped. Amazing - the doctor came back cleaned the wound and was asking me whetherI'm faking it or it's still bleeding. I'm like - eeerrrr, you're the doc I'm not - Why not ask my finger. Oh well, half way through cleaning and applying the stitch strips - a familiar face walked in the door - that was a huge comfort - cause at least I don't have to go through the injection by myself with that arrogant male nurse - who was not cute. The familiar face was drunk but still knows how to drive to the hospital and talked and walked me out of the hospital - but it was just cute scene when you have a friend like this came and find you while your finger is injured but his cute too and funny when you looked at him and wanting to ask him - are you alright?

Anyway, I'm a kid when I see needles and heard that I need stiches - someone familiar must be there at all times or else I'll cry my lungs out but I did cried for 5 times over the six hours because the traige nurse kept on saying that I might get stiches - I think the patients and friends or family have been looking at me while I cried. I just couldn'e help myself when my tears kept on puoring out just like the blood too - just like slowly peeing. Hahaha... You can imagine that!

Two things that did not happen in the hospital is that I didn't eat for suprisingly for 24 hours and ended up having just crackers. I wonder why I was not hungry until my friend brought me to Chilli Padi - still not hungry but I ordered Nasi Goreng Pataya and Teh Tarik Halia. I didn't finish the whole plate of food as usual.

Before, we went in to Chilli Padi - he saw some friends - even worst, they are girls. Then as it is he was high high and said that I cut myself - as girls if they heard these kind of words - they will automatically think - oh, your friend is trying to suicide. Compared to me crying in public to letting the girls to think stupidly - the girls thinking are more embarrasing. I have to said to the girls - I cut my finger and showed the finger to them. But then gender clash - they heard him corrected the words than I do. Thank god that the girls smiled and acknowledged me or else - turn around and move my arse somewhere else and I don't have to face them. Fuck hell - I'm fucking lan si just that I tried not to because my first impression is always like that - what a lan si girl. But now first impression must give people - innocent look and sweet.

So therefore, I won't be seeing them also cause I only like to friend friend girls are cute and bimbo. For me, thin and pretty girls are no no cause they are more to materialistic and always look at you to make friends with. That's why my friends are all bimboo-sih, talkative and crazy when get together like cannot be separated, even worst - don't let us drink - it's like the whole world is only US. Hoooray!

~Simple is better~

I craved for things that are impossible for me to have when I was a kid but I craved no more. Now, I just crave for simple things in my life that I just don't want to get hurt and be safe in the compound that I know how to get there and be comfortable. You can say that I'm stupid for not craving more things but I died from craving too much in my life years ago. Things can change unless I change myself - it's another stupid thing for me to wait for that special someone to pull me out from the black box but who will that somebody be?

Hope that that somebody will always be there to not let me get hurt cause I cannot stand for another hopeless thing. I want it to last and it will just last till I die. That's the only thing that I craved the most at these time of my life. If it comes, it comes - I don't want to be a doll to make every one happy and I'm not happy myself for my life. Might just say that the bubbly happy Adriana Tan has long gone before she came to Australia.

I don't want to think - I just want to DO.

~Pet Shop Boys~

I was at the pet shop near my house, it's a new opening and quite a big area for most of the things that you might want to get for your own pet. Oh yah, the boys are not as cute as the owner but he was not there today. Too bad - can't see his lovely cute smile.

But I got to talk to him yesterday and kind of like getting attention from him. Hahaha... I'm so bad but his cute - what to do? Anyway, body is good enough when he wore the jumper - grey color with hoodie.... Oh yes, nice to see haven't get the chance to touch yet. Totally cute and funny man!

Yesterday at work, first thing in the morning. Cute mail man... Oh my gosh! Life is SO CUTE...!!!
Okok.... might just say that I'm in the 'HIAO' mood.

~Vain, Naive or Bitchy Friends?~

Why friends have to be so judgemental towards another friend whom they almost knew all the high school years until now?

Yes, I used to have friends like these but I just tend to slowly not contact them cause they are not good to be with. Why do you have to say things that are so hurtful to hear and to think? Don't you have anything better to do than gossiping and bitchy about other people's appearances or life or whatsoever they are doing to themselves. Think about yourself, you are no greater than them unless you think you have achieve more things compared to them. If you are already married, you might just have to think properly when you say about other people cause you are being said behind your back too.

My mom always tell me - do not talk about other people's bad things because you might just get the same thing happen to you. Yes, I've gone through that and it is true that when you think back, the things did happen to your life.

You can say things about anyone cause you all know them more than I do but if they treat me badly - that's it - it's bye bye friend... Not even a hi bye friend at all. If they treat me nice, it'll be hurtful to hear what you all have just said about them. No wonder, a friend of mine said THERE ARE NOTHING FOR US IN MALAYSIA. True, there are nothing but at least my family and memories are there. To ask me to go back for good? NO WAY! That's my answer - why? Should I always be judge by my friends or relatives or stay here and being respect by many?

I've been here since 2003, met many friends and said bye bye to many friends too. At least, I live happily and layback here. Worries are only the rentals, car and bills but there are no friends to judge you all the time. Can say that if people say things behind your back - it does not come back to you easily unlike in Malaysia.

What if people are westernize attitude or character? I can say to you IT'S NOYB. I've scolded by many friends of mine saying that you are born chinese and born as malaysian. So what if I am one? If I don't have the mind, heart and soul to be one, you can't force me to be one. My parents always said to me that don't forget you are still chinese after all. I'll say yes I know but I don't have to live traditionally - of course, there are some parts of me still have the traditional heart, mind and soul but most of them are westernize ways.

Mind is open but it does not means that my traditional ways as a chinese is gone. Heart is open but it does not means that my vagina is open as public. Soul is open but it does not means that I'm not malaysian just that I like Australia.

Who cares if they are fat or chubby or slim, they goes for liposuction - at least they get to do it for free. If you want to do it, you have to pay for the whole process. It's so expensive that even I don't have the money to do it on my thighs. So what, if the cars are given or own by their whoever. My dad bought me the car. So, I'm already 26 years old and I still have difficulties earning money for my first year of working.

If they want to be vain, you all know better than I do. Sometimes it's not like they are just vain friends or vainatous words but they are still a friend that you all known for years. It's not like as if you know them just YESTERDAY. Let them be because one day they are the ones will realize whether did they do it or not. If they are not vain words from your friends, what are you as a friend more than 5 years understand FRIENDSHIP means?

Know what.... FUCK OFF! Stop bitchy cause you are no greater than anyone. Same goes with me tonight as well. So, I'm going to fuck off....Bye!

~Headache at work~

Had a new massage therapist came in today. She's way older and funny when she does massage cause I was with her in the dual room.

Oh my gosh, I got a headache from her just to chase after the massage oil bottle from her for 5 minutes. Oh yah, 5 minutes mean big time for our industry.

There you go, I have a headache because of a massage oil bottle chasing...

Is it short enough, FOO CHING CHING???? Don't ask for pictures.... KNNB... You teach me this curse words. Anyway, what does that whole curse words mean.. I understand the first but not the last three...

~Yes, the 'I' factor~

The 'I' people are only 15% in the Australian DISC survey. So, they are placed third in line compared to the 'S' and 'C'. There are three ways that you can identify who are 'I' people is through words, tone/voice and body language.

Words :
- Georgous
- Amazing
- Beautiful
- Awesome
- Sensational
- Exclusive
- Limited Edition
- Brand new things and make sure they get it first
- Popular
- Especially for you

So make sure, you said they are beatiful, different, you are so amazing and they will just give you a big smile or laugh - compliments to them even though they look shit on that particular day. Interested to buy things for them on special occasion - make sure it is limited edition, no one has it before them, new products in the market, or things that comes with another thing - might just say that - buy them things that has a bag of goodies in there. Things that you might find in their house, celebrity uses what - they uses what. For sure, add on last sentence ESPECIALLY for you. They will just love so much - they can just fall for anything you said.

Tone / Voice :
- Colourful
- Drama Tone
- Exaggerated
- The way they say something is like a music or maybe not
- Very discriptive when telling stories
- All over the place

Eventually, you can say that they can be exaggerating the stories, have lots of up and downs with their tones to tell a stories or have a conversation, Dramatic tone when conversation is dramatic or you can say that you have to live in the movie lines. Takes ages for them to tell you a story cause the main point is always the last one - CHEH....!!! Well, conversations and not organize - they can just jump from number 1 to number 10 and then to number 6 then back to number 1.

Body Language :
- Can't seat still
- Fidgetive (if the spelling is correct)
- Change
- Moving

Oh yah, it's like spending time with active kids. It's good for them cause they move around lots and that's their exercises which is a good way to slim down. They have itchy hands - so, just be careful with them cause your favourite vase might just drop on the floor and ta da, it's all gone in just minutes. If you have a client like that, make sure they hear what you say and MAKE 100% sure that they won't go any other places than the place they are suppose to be at.

The 'I' people are influencing, optimistic, enthusiastic, open, impulsive, emotional, persuading, talkative, charming and sensitive. So this is how you identify 'I' people, becareful what you say to them cause they can just cry in front of you until you give them a candy to SHUT UP or KISS them till they can't breathe or use a plaster or something to shut them up.

'I' people are younger looking people so it's hard that you cannot guess their AGE - hahaha... yes, you will always get it wrong cause the age is old but they just LOOK YOUNG outside. That's why they have compliments all their lives.

Another way to identify them when you put them at home or work is they are FORGETFUL and that tends get trouble because of it. They can just BREAK ANY RULES ANY TIME and they won't care, CLUMSY at all times well just check whether they have bruises or bumps around arms and thighs - they just wouldn't know when they get it until the next few days to realize - Oh, I have a bruise on my right lower leg (For your info, that's from me - I have a bruise there). When they are down or not in the mood, SLOW MOTION just like a turtle or maybe worst than that.

Yes, I'm a proud 'I' - we are the FIRE people - no one can stop us even the police. Happy go lucky and Oooops, when things get bad - either we cry or we are down like as if the hell is covering or circling the head for few days until they found something exciting. How to kill an 'I' - easy, just place them in a four walls room - nothing for them to excess and just a chair. That is the way to KILL the 'I's.

These are the tricks to an 'I', so people understand that 'I' people are not always bimbo but they are just 'I's. Get use to it cause they are the easiest to trick of all times and easily to be friend with.

~Directors Suite~

Oh yah, I was in the Directors Suite watching Spiderman 3 last night. It was a good fun cause I got to relax and watch the movie. It was too relax until you can sleep on the couch - well the couch is the lazy seat in the cinema.

It cost 25 dollars per person but once in a lifetime, everything have to try. Service was great cause I got a blanket (did I spell it correctly). But then he got his beer - cascade light while watching movie. Yeh, I got nagged from him but I was like hey, at least it was good to have seats like this to watch spidey.

I'm not a big fan of spidey but the third one was good, I didn't watch the second - who cares. At least I know what happen next. I'm just thinking is there spiderman 4?

Directors suite has everything like their own bar, food, cinema and their own services. No wonder it was good to be in cause every one was like a celebrity. They just treat you like king and queen, you get to eat while watching movie and drink too. I didn't get to drink cause I was driving, bad luck, or else I'll ask for a red wine - errmmmmmm, cab sav. My favourite of all the red wine, anything goes with cab sav, I don't mind about it.

Well, I was a bimbo exploring the directors suite and it was fun being a bimbo in that situation. Or maybe I'm just always a bimbo cause guys always said that they like my company. Bimbos always have nice company cause they don't use their brains often even though they're already 26 years old just like me. Get use to it, cause bimbos will always be a bimbo or else they will not have the behavious of an 'I'. I'll explain to you what I mean in 'I' another time cause I'm slacking for my blog again. Foo Ching Ching time to say something to make me write again!

Finally, too bad I didn't have camera with me or else I'll take photos for you all to have a look at. I like the sound systems cause my seat was shaking quite a few times and it was so COOOOOLLLLLL!

~The memory of my piano~

Today I was working from 11am till 9pm. It was a long day but not long that I'm working so many hours now cause my manager said that when I'm tired or not in tune with my mood - I always have complaints just like this morning.

Oh yah, I saw that I was not paid for that that 15 mins cause the client was not happy with the eyelash tint. I haven't complaint and she complained about me not doing it long enough as she doesn't come back to have another eyelash tint for another 6 weeks. For me, she keep on flickering her eyes as she's so sensitive to the touch of the cotton bud. Waste my time, if I know I won't be doing the whole half and hour of Indian head and shoulder massage since SHE WAS LATE. I know... I know... even though clients are always correct but then hey, I'm not paid to wait for you being LATE.

Ok... ok... Back to my original topic!

My last client was an old lady, very slow but nice person. I was so happy cause I thought that I can go back home 15 mins earlier. Guess what, she's SLOWWWWWWW..... and talks alot when doing the facial for the first 10 minutes. Talking and talking and talking, I can't even remove her lipstick on her lips cause she was talking. I was like... ARHRRHRHRHRHRHhhh! Shut up for a while and let me do the removal and I want to go back home early.

While, things got too intense until we were talking about music. She plays organ for church, funeral, weddings so on and so forth. I'm a piano player and she does play piano too, she has a grand piano that was with her for 20 years and she wants to sell it off cause she got a small house by herself that is under mortgage. Anyway, we were talking about piano and I was so emotional talking about my piano that I nearly cried because I really love my piano.

My piano was like my friend, that I share my frustation, anger, happiness, craziness, mood swing and many more. Without it, I don't know where my emotions go to just like since I left home from 2000. But at least when I was in Penang college, I got to play piano once in awhile. I have friends over here that owns the piano and when I said can I play... they were like aiya, don't be a DRAMA QUEEN, what's so great of touching a piano for.

They who do not own an instrument do not understand the love and passion for the sound to come out from THE instrument. It was a tune that makes the world light up that changes the whole environment. Oh yes, it was my light when I was down. It was my friend when I need one. It was like my mother when I need it to talk to me. It was like my father that understands my heart and support me through the tough times. It was like my baby cause I got an instrument to care for and cherish for long. It was like my lover cause I know I can relly on it. It was like my every thing in this world.

This is how my love goes to my beloved piano that was sold when I was 18 years old preparing to go out of the house and be a young adult that does not have to get support by it anymore. I was forced to sell and not willing to be as my parents do not want to have burden with it anyore. I cried over the week and cried even more when the seller came to buy the piano and remove it from my home. That time my beloved baby was gone physically for good.

I wonder where did it go to and does that little girl or boy takes good care of it. I wonder how my beloved piano was treated cause I treat my piano like a princess. My parents bought it when we were still living in West Malaysia and shipped it all the way to Sabah - East Malaysia. Eventually, that piano does cost more than any of my belongings.

Yes, tears were coming down when I tried to hide it so that my client cannot sees it. My last client connected me with my long lost instrument and I'm glad that she reminded me the old memory that buried in my heart for a long time and get to share with someone that enjoys the instrument and the beautiful sound that we made to be beautiful to other people.

I was a young pianist, I was a church pianist, I was a piano teacher to some friends and kids, I was who I was back then with the love of music.

~I wish, I hope and I want~

I wish: -

*not being me
*being smart
*good career
*good life

I hope: -

*earn more money
*buy more clothings, shoes and accesories
*get to travel while working
*to study what I want to study

I want: -

*a big family that lives in the same street
*a companion but scared to have one cause of FAILure
*a house that is nicely decorated by me simple and nice
*my baby boy to live with me forever cause I love him so much

~B'day 2007 Pictures~

This is the present - clothing from friends. Eventually, they didn't know whether I look good or not, so have to try it after the dinner. It comes out good cause I never try wearing clothings like this before and it just looks KINKY - some one was saying this word.

This is what I actualy wore on that night... with black pants and can't remember what colour is the boots. The balloon is a present too. Julia and wing found it in the city - they were so funny cause they have to carry around in the city to come back home. Every one is looking at them!

~Question to ask or not to ask~

Do you notice sometimes you feel like asking a particular question to assure yourself and tends not to ask at all cause you don't want to know the answer but then you still want to know as you are just eager to know the answer.

I have it all the time but sometimes it's better not to ask cause I can keep the things that I like and I don't have to know the bad answer cause things might change. It is good to know the answer as I don't have to bang my head to the wall every time but if I don't have the answer, I don't have to bang my head to the wall cause I can just happily be where I am.

Is it because I'm scared of asking? Yes, I am. I don't want to ask but I want people to ask me. People says that if you leave alone, it's normal that you keep things to yourself and not tell anyone and then your brain just go wacko! It's true sometimes but I still tend to tell people if I want and can or else I'll just type it here, since not many people read my bloggy. As it's mostly crapazzzz.... If I keep quiet too long and it's not like me usually, I might be thinking of something or there are something that happens to me, ask me questions and I'll slowly pour out to you within 3 hours. I won't say all the things out at once, just take some times for me to bring everything out and the last one is always the main problems.

I've plans for the questions but then just LET IT BE... it's like the moto that I have up there. That's why I'll stay my own moto. Come as it is - you will not know where you are going to be and who you will be meeting.